WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
