They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
