i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
