are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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