I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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