I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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