Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
