We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
