I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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