I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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