why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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