My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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