who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize