Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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