the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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