Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
operation harelip BJ is a go
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
