I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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