You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
