I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
