i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize