Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
