Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize