garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
