Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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