just come out here and I will go home with you...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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