Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
