we're blogging at a bar
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you win again, gameday.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
