Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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