We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
try to milk me bitch
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize