I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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