where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
