Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
