so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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