I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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