youre lurking in front of me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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