you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
