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• (925): View more from California

  Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?

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• (409): View more from Texas

  my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.

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