Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
