if you like me you must not know who I am
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
