What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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