if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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