He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
