The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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