He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize