i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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