I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm at about main and main street
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
