Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
