her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she told me i tasted like america
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
