that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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