i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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