I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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