So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize