mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
