I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
