You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
