Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
