Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
