I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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