At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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