entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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