We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize