Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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