your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
