She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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