I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
