Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize