Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize