then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
