You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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