babies were throwing up all over the place
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
