whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
