All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
