The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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