Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
