its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
