I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
